1. Winning by Emily Haines
What we made, doesn’t make sense
What’s a wolf without a pack?
Open your chest and take the heart from it
Open your chest
What’s bad, we’ll fix it
What’s wrong, we’ll make it alright, alright
It’s gone, we’ll find it
Takes so long, we’ve got time
All the time
Derek open your heart, you are alone without your pack, without your love. It takes time to break down those walls, but it will happen, and you’ll be so much better for it. Stiles makes everything alright, even with a broken Alpha, and his lost Betas; Stiles will make it alright because that’s what Stiles does. He heals and moves forward, pushes through, soldiers on.
2. I Found A Reason by Cat Power
Oh I do believe
In all the things you see
What comes is better than what came before
Both of their pasts are filled with heartbreak, loneliness, pain, loss, hurt, emptiness. So being together… together is better than before. Doesn’t matter what happens because they will have each other and they can face the future together. I do believe they are stronger together, as a pack, as a couple, as a team.
3. All to All by Broken Social Scene
Call of forgiveness
I’m like the heal of the hurt
I’m like the only one
You tried to save when you fell out
Because they push and test and hurt and save and rescue and support and keep keep keep coming back to each other. If three is a pattern, what is four?
4. Wolf & I by OhLand
And you are the wolf
And I am the moon
And in the endless sky we are but one
Somewhere in the woods, there is a boy who runs with wolves.
5. Sea Of Love by Cat Power
Do you remember when we met
That’s the day I knew you were my pet
I want to tell you
How much I love you
I want to tell you how much I love you. Since the day we met, I’ve loved you. *sobs*
6. Shadows by Warpaint
I know I’m afraid, I know I’m afraid,
I’m drunk and I’m tired,
And the city I walk in, the city I walk in,
It feels like it swallows,
With my hand in my pocket,
I feel like a shadow, I feel like a shadow.
Stiles shoves his hands deeper into his hoodie pockets. Tucking his face into the front of his sweater, trying to minimize the amount of skin that is exposed to the biting wind. It’s dark out, the streets are wet from recent rain, the moon shines brightly in the sky and yet and yet there are no stars.
Derek paces in the dark, wet forest. The smell of pine and soil fill his nostrils and yet and yet he can’t get the smell of Stiles out of his head.
What did they do? What did they just succumb to? Was it good? It was so good. Will it ruin everything? Oh god oh god.
I feel like the shadows I don’t even bother for anymore than that.
What did you whisper in my ear?
What did you tell me that I wanted to hear?
What was the answer you wanted me to find out?
Do you love me too?
7. Leave My Body By Florence and The Machine
I’m gonna be released from behind these lies
And I don’t care whether I live or die
And I’m losing blood, I’m gonna leave my bones
I don’t want no future (want your future)
I don’t need no past (need your past)
One bright moment (one bright moment)
Is all I ask (all I ask)
I’m exposed, raw, tired, oh so so tired. I don’t care anymore. Any of it, I’m so tired of everything now. Whatever may happen, it doesn’t matter. What happened in our past, it does. not. matter. I don’t want to drown anymore, I need to breathe, I need to live. In this moment, now, is all I need. I need you, Stiles. You give me life again.
8. Shelter by Birdy
I still want to drown whenever you leave
Please teach me gently on how to breathe
MAYBE I HAVE SAID SOMETHING THAT WAS WRONG, CAN I MAKE IT BETTER WITH THE LIGHTS TURNED ON.
Oh god, oh god. Stiles feels the anxiety clutch his heart a little tighter, feels his lungs begin to spasm. I need you, Derek. Derek, I can’t breathe! His fingers scrape and scratch the tough leather of Derek’s jacket. Suddenly strong arms envelope him and he feels Derek’s warm body press tightly against him. He buries his face in Derek’s neck and breathes deep. His heart rate slows, his lungs fill with the smell of Derek, and calm fills his brain.
9. Salt Skin By Ellie Goulding
Hands on strings and my mouth open
Find the perfect words
that I’ve not spoken
And I won’t tell the truth
unless you want me to
For all of the times that I lost my head
When it rolled to the floor
and I found it again
But when it came back
No, I didn’t know my own name
Stiles is not perfect. He’s not. The stream of consciousness that is an ever present flow of language out his mouth. Forever trying to make sense of the world around him. Contrasting starkly against the quiet, brooding, internalizing Sour Wolf. But there’s one thing Stiles can’t say out loud, can’t confess, can’t accept. Does he feel it too? That energy, that warmth, that static electricity between them. This feeling that has him literally tongue tied.
10. Run by Air
Stay in bed
I feel sad
When you run
Stay like this
On the hills
Of my chest
Don’t wake up
I feel strange
When you go
Derek pulls his head off Stiles’s chest with difficulty. It’s so hard to leave this warm cocoon of comfort and safety and hope. These small, stolen moments away from everyone where they can just be.
Stiles feels the ache immediately. Feels that void begin to form as soon as Derek leaves the bed. Come back his mind yells. But Stiles just sighs and lets him go.
11. Young Blood by The Naked and Famous
We lie beneath the stars at night
Our hands gripping each other tight
You keep my secrets hope to die
Promises, swear them to the sky
The bittersweet between my teeth
Trying to find the in-between
Fall back in love eventually
Stiles plants his hands on either side of Derek’s head, digging his fingers into the soft earth beneath it. His face hovers inches away from Derek’s. His eyes flick back and forth memorizing his features. Stiles feels something shift deep in his gut as he makes eye contact with Derek. As he leans forward, the world tilts like vertigo and Stiles is falling into the depths behind those eyes.
12. Jungle by Emma-Louis
In a dark room we fight, make up for our love.
I’ve been thinking, thinking about you, about us.
And we’re moving slow, our hearts beat so fast.
I’ve been dreaming, dreaming about you, about us.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
My head is a jungle, jungle,
My head is a jungle, jungle,
My head is a jungle, jungle,
My head, oh!
I was speaking soft, see the pain in your eyes,
I’ve been feeling, feeling for you, my love.
And our bodies are tired, our shadows will dance,
I’ve been aching, aching for you, my love.
My love is wasted, sorry for this I never meant to be, hurting ourselves, hurting ourselves
And I’m complicated, you won’t get me, I have trouble, understanding myself, understanding myself
And my love is wasted, sorry for this I never meant to be, hurting ourselves, hurting ourselves
And I’m complicated, you won’t get me I have trouble, understanding myself, understanding myself
“I’m not good for you, Stiles! I’m not enough, I’m broken, I’m empty, I’m full of hate and anger and I can’t fix it. Can’t find a way out of this pain. So I’m not good for you, I don’t know how to be good.”
“But you love, I know you love me. I see it. I see it in everything you do, the way you look at me, the way to touch me, the way you kiss. You love me.”
“It’s not enough.”
“It is for me.”
All we have is this, and I will protect it fiercely with everything I have. I don’t even know what it is. But it’s something. It’s everything. It’s all I have. I will keep it close to me. Keep it in my heart. You are everything to me.
graphic made by my soulmate